Stitch by Stitch

A dear friend sent this to me this week and I wanted to share it because it might help someone as much as it did me.  Thanks, J.R., I love you.


"Came across this verse this morning in my reading time...
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Did a little word study and here is something to give you peace and assurance: "Brokenhearted" does describe your condition. It translates- to burst, tear, crush and break into pieces. The word for "wounds" translates pain, sorrow, displeasure, grief, wrest (from wrestlings), to worry, pain or anger. I think that may sum up the emotional ride you have been on. Wouldn't you say?
The good news is that He heals those emotions. "Heals" translates mend by stitching ( I like that because it gives me a picture of a personal God and His personal handiwork and care), to repair thoroughly, make whole and to cure. Although you are brokenhearted, disappointed, wrestling and all of the above- Praise our God who is our Healer through and through... He loves you and is stitching ever so tenderly, stitch by stitch, stitch by stitch and He "binds up" - yes, He wraps firmly, compresses to stop the hurt and damage. Not only that but He saddles, governs and rules this broken heart (binds up)."

Dear __________ (insert your name here),

Romans 12 (Amplified Bible)

  ¹I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.    ²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
    ³For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.
    ⁴For as in one physical body we have many parts (organs, members) and all of these parts do not have the same function or use,
    ⁵So we, numerous as we are, are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another].
    ⁶Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them: [He whose gift is] prophecy, [let him prophesy] according to the proportion of his faith;
    ⁷[He whose gift is] practical service, let him give himself to serving; he who teaches, to his teaching;
    ⁸He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness.
    ⁹[Let your] love be sincere (a real thing); hate what is evil [loathe all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness], but hold fast to that which is good.
    ¹⁰Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
    ¹¹Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord.
    ¹²Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.
    ¹³Contribute to the needs of God's people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality.
    ¹⁴Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them.
    ¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief].
    ¹⁶Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.^{(A)
    17}Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone.^{(B)
    18}If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
    ¹⁹Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.^{(C)
    20}But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.^{(D)
    21}Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.

With All Love,

Your Father (through the Apostle Paul)

Finding Time for God

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." (Isaiah 40:11)  

What!?!  When my friend (A.C.) sent this to me, I couldn't believe it.  I had never read or heard this scripture before.  I have to say, it really took a lot of pressure off of me.  It lifted the weird and twisted guilt that I had been carrying away & left me with a simple truth- He not only holds my babies close to Himself, but He gently leads me too.  I love the word gently.  Let's look at it.

Gently.  -adjective.

• kindly; amiable: a gentle manner.
• not severe, rough, or violent; mild: a gentle wind; a gentle tap on the shoulder.
• moderate: gently warm.
• gradual: a gentle slope.
• characteristic of good birth; honorable; respectable: a gentle upbringing.
• easily handled or managed; tractable: a gentle animal.
• soft or low: a gentle sound.
• polite; refined: Consider, gentle reader, my terrible predicament at this juncture.

People, myself included, sometimes have a twisted view of God.  For me, when I feel like I should be doing more, I think of Him as being angry with me, I feel guilty, like I should be punished, like I am not good enough.  I find that I forget that God is love and that He really loves me perfectly.  This scripture shows me and helps me stay confident in that fact.  Why?  Because God is not a man. He knows all and He sees all. God wants what is best for me and my children.  He understands how hard it is for me to find time and stay focused.  So, does He fuss at me in anger?  Does He push me to do more, or give me a guilt trip?  No!  He lovingly leads me, allowing me to walk a subtle slope.  

Picture the the strong, handsome man, going into a ball with the lovely delicate woman.  Notice how He allows her to go in first, but then the lovingly puts his hand in the small of her back and he gently guides her into the room?  THAT is what God does to us moms! 

The above scripture was sent to me by a dear friend of mine who has SEVEN children, all under twelve years old & she home schools them.  Now, when another mom sends you a scripture, you pay attention.  When she has SEVEN children, you write it on your heart!  Anyway, it was in response to the second question that I sent out to the council:

"With work, marriage, family & all the obligations we, as women, find ourselves involved in, how do you find time for God?  What do you do during the day that keeps you connected to Him?  What tips would you suggest for not loosing touch and keeping my faith strong?"  

It has taken me longer to write this blog for two reasons.  One, it is summer and all four children are home 24/7.  And although I have, this summer, found a balance with things that I have never had before, it leaves little time for Mommy to squeeze extras in. Secondly, with this question, I particularly wanted to "live it out" a little.  I received seven or so emails in response to this question with fantastic advice.   Here are a couple of the many noteworthy things my ladies had to say:

"When it is fashionable to be involved in everything at church, school, etc., that can also be a tool of the enemy to rob us spiritually.  Filling every tiny pocket of time reduces our ability to “hear” the Lord throughout the day and to be spontaneous.  Flustered, frustrated and exhausted doesn’t make for a loving and listening disciple of the Lord.  When you are too busy you are really out of touch with Him and out of sync with the family.  Then there is a loneliness and sadness that follows…..we have alienated ourselves!" (P.R.)

"I've learned that times like these, when we feel so far from Him, turn out to be great periods of growth...trusting God to be everything you cannot be, trusting Him to carry you through, and knowing His mercy, love, forgiveness and gentleness better than you ever have before. I realize even more now how much I am dependent on Him. I don't want it any other way." (A.C.)


I was really surprised at how many women hide in the bathroom to seek God! This made me laugh out loud.  You know who you are!  Yet, I was so desperate, I tried it & it worked.  God doesn't care what we are doing or where we have to hide.  What He cares about is our hearts.  I am sure that it pleases God when we make the most of every moment, even the potty ones.  And, let's face it, sometimes that moment might be the only we get for a while.  Why not make the most of it?

For the most part all of the ladies said the same things; pray constantly, find Him in His creation,  make the most of any moment you find, listen to good wholesome worship music while you clean and/or in the car & for goodness sake, be thankful!   


For me, I found my niche in reading before bed.  In two weeks, I had read an entire book, cover to cover & read more of the Word than I have in a long time.  I was amazed.  Not only because that is the first book I have finished in over a year, but amazed at how it helped me sleep more peacefully & how much better I started the next day when it came.  Of course, throughout the day, I still listen to God focused music, pray often- and by pray I mean, I talk to Him like He's my pal, which means I am real.  None of this "formal" stuff you hear only at Thanksgiving dinner.  :)


The rewards have been sweet.  Not only am I happier, but I know God is pleased too. 


In reading the book, "Love & War" by John & Stasi Elderidge, I read that if you want to find God, you go where God is.  God is love & that is where you will find Him.  Which brings me to the next blog topic.  Love. 

In the meantime, dear readers, imagine yourself at the ball looking magnificent (even if it's noon and you haven't had time to brush your teeth), and feel the Spirit moving you, with His hand in the small of your back, gently guiding you into the room.  He is your night in shining armor.  And the best part?  There is no pumpkin in this story.  

In the midst of THIS?!

Lately, I have meditating on the scriptures in Joshua where God promises that He will always be with me.  I have been reminding myself when I get stressed out that, "He is here, be strong, be courageous, He is with me."  Sometimes it is very difficult reminder to watch my behavior and some days are like today, easy and fun and I can see Him, feel him with me.  

A friend comes for a visit and we talk and play with our babies, we laugh and remember when we were young and single, all the fun we had.  We look at our babies and feel really blessed and say to one another, "who would have thought?"  We know how far we have come and what hell we had to go through to get to "this" point in our lives.  We smile at one another, and without saying a word, we know.  We know that despite the chaos of our lives, God has given us one another, and more importantly, Himself. Today, it doesn't matter if the house is clean or how much laundry is piling up, or that I have no idea what I making for dinner.  In this moment of adult conversation and companionship, memories and blessings, none of "that stuff" even enters our minds and it's a much needed break from the chaos of the every day life of diapers and spit up, laundry and dishes, baths and boo boo's.  

She gather's up her babies and as the door shuts, a quick snap back to the reality, "Mommy, Sam poo pooed and it's coming out of his diaper.....Oh, gross, Mommy, it's on the rug!"  I grab up the baby and head to the nursery to clean him and change his diaper and clothes.  I take his diaper off and, of course, he pee pees all over his face and body and me.  At just that moment I hear, "Mommy, Maddie stepped in the poo poo and is walking across the house! Gross, Maddie, STOP, STOP, STOP!"  "Rin, you are not the boss of me, I am going to the bathroom (which is on the other side of the house) to clean it off by myself!"  I can't leave Sam alone because he is now naked, covered in pee pee and poop and on top of his changing table.  So, I do what any good, loving, Christian mother would do. I scream at my children. "Rin, be quiet, Maddie stop where you are until I get there! Nobody talk, nobody move!"  The house gets silent- really silent.  All of a sudden I hear gagging, yes, gagging.  I say, in my same "loving" voice, "Who is that!?!"  Maddie meekly replies, "It's me, I have poo (gag) poo, on my (gag) hands."  She promptly throws up on the floor.  The story continues, but I think you see what I am trying to covey.  How do you go from "I feel great today, He is here!" to "Oh my God, what just happened, He is here?!?" 

In a moment our situation can change, or stress level can double, our peace can evaporate- if we let it.  What I am learning, is that we, as people, have an insatiable need to "feel" things in order to "know" them.  Your feelings don't matter!  What matters is Truth!  I am learning to constantly remind myself of who He is to me.  When it gets stressful, He is my peace.  When I am tired, He is my strength.  When I am mad, he is my joy.  When I am unsatisfied, he is my portion.  So, no matter what I am going through today, or any day, He is what I need and He is ALWAYS there, an ever present help, come poop or pee!

Finding God's Plan

It seems like such a huge and daunting task to figure out what God wants for my life.  In many ways I feel like I have failed God somehow by being 30 years old and still not having all of this quite figured out.  I have been Christian for a long time, yet, I continue to struggle with being "sure" about His plan.  How does one KNOW what God has in store?  How do you wake up, every day, with assurance that you are doing what He wants?  I set out to find the answer to these questions.

I asked some women, whom I will refer to as "the council" from now on, how they realized what God wanted for their lives.  When I received the responses back, I was amazed at the depth of what these ladies had to share. When I had the idea for this project, I had no idea that on blog one, I would find such a deep and beautiful resource in the women that God had put in my life! What a fantastic discovery.
 
The beautiful realization that I made from what these women said was this-  God puts what He wants for us in our hearts when we are growing, so usually the thing that you "always wanted to do" is exactly what God wants for you. "Spend some time reflecting back to your childhood....what you spent time doing, how you played with friends, what made your heart happy." S.B.  I find it so amazing that God set it all up so that we get to please Him and love what we do at the same time!  What a great Father that is!  

"Life is our divine purpose, so we walk through the doors God opens and let Him be in control." P.L.  I think for me, in a lot of ways, my problem is control, or at least my perception of it.  I have always had this idea in my head of HOW things would or should happen.  When it hasn't worked out that way I have been down on myself, thinking I missed God somehow.  I know that I have to let go of my perception of control (of which I don't really have anyway) and allow God move me.  I think of it like this- have you ever tried to pick up someone who doesn't want to be picked up?  It is very difficult.  However, if the person submits and allows you to do so, it seems like their weight is cut in half.  Cooperation is key.  I must stop fighting God!

In so many ways, I find myself fulfilling dreams, in a mysterious kind of way where things happen and I realize that is what I always wanted and just didn't know it. "The biggest surprise to me about God's will for my life was that the things I want most in my life are the same things He wants for me." P.C.  These bits of wisdom from the council confirmed this for me. Seek God, obey Him every day & do what brings your heart joy-  THAT PLACE is where He is pleased.   "...at all times in our lives, worshiping God and having a relationship with Him is really our purpose.  The missions he has for us within that purpose become evident as we seek Him." R.E.  Amazing!

"Obey God today, everyday, and your destiny will take care of itself." Kenneth Copeland

So, dear readers, as I search deep and remember the things that have brought joy to my life, seeking God and walking though the doors He opens, I pray that you will join me.  God is faithful and He is a rewarder of those that seek him diligently.  Let's look for open doors, walk though them & find Him there.

Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified Bible) ^"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."

Introduction

My life is, in many ways, more full than I ever imagined it would be. I am married to a man that really loves me- even the ugly parts that no one but he gets to see. He keeps my secrets and covers my sins. He believes in me and really has my back. Being loved by someone that knows the REAL you takes you to a place that can't be reached otherwise. That kind of love gives you a safe place to run and a comfort that can't be bought. I have four beautiful children, three of which I get way too much credit for rescuing. The truth is they rescued me. Then there is my sweet baby boy, who changed the way I see the world. When it all comes down to it, I have little to complain about. I am blessed. Yet, I, as many women do, wonder about "more." Is there more to this life? Am I missing something? What do I do next? What will please God? Although this blog may lead to many topics, these questions are the reason I started it.

Although, our roads may look different, we are all on the same journey. I hope this blog will become interactive; that my ramblings will fuse with the comments of other believers out there and become an online discussion.