In the midst of THIS?!

Lately, I have meditating on the scriptures in Joshua where God promises that He will always be with me.  I have been reminding myself when I get stressed out that, "He is here, be strong, be courageous, He is with me."  Sometimes it is very difficult reminder to watch my behavior and some days are like today, easy and fun and I can see Him, feel him with me.  

A friend comes for a visit and we talk and play with our babies, we laugh and remember when we were young and single, all the fun we had.  We look at our babies and feel really blessed and say to one another, "who would have thought?"  We know how far we have come and what hell we had to go through to get to "this" point in our lives.  We smile at one another, and without saying a word, we know.  We know that despite the chaos of our lives, God has given us one another, and more importantly, Himself. Today, it doesn't matter if the house is clean or how much laundry is piling up, or that I have no idea what I making for dinner.  In this moment of adult conversation and companionship, memories and blessings, none of "that stuff" even enters our minds and it's a much needed break from the chaos of the every day life of diapers and spit up, laundry and dishes, baths and boo boo's.  

She gather's up her babies and as the door shuts, a quick snap back to the reality, "Mommy, Sam poo pooed and it's coming out of his diaper.....Oh, gross, Mommy, it's on the rug!"  I grab up the baby and head to the nursery to clean him and change his diaper and clothes.  I take his diaper off and, of course, he pee pees all over his face and body and me.  At just that moment I hear, "Mommy, Maddie stepped in the poo poo and is walking across the house! Gross, Maddie, STOP, STOP, STOP!"  "Rin, you are not the boss of me, I am going to the bathroom (which is on the other side of the house) to clean it off by myself!"  I can't leave Sam alone because he is now naked, covered in pee pee and poop and on top of his changing table.  So, I do what any good, loving, Christian mother would do. I scream at my children. "Rin, be quiet, Maddie stop where you are until I get there! Nobody talk, nobody move!"  The house gets silent- really silent.  All of a sudden I hear gagging, yes, gagging.  I say, in my same "loving" voice, "Who is that!?!"  Maddie meekly replies, "It's me, I have poo (gag) poo, on my (gag) hands."  She promptly throws up on the floor.  The story continues, but I think you see what I am trying to covey.  How do you go from "I feel great today, He is here!" to "Oh my God, what just happened, He is here?!?" 

In a moment our situation can change, or stress level can double, our peace can evaporate- if we let it.  What I am learning, is that we, as people, have an insatiable need to "feel" things in order to "know" them.  Your feelings don't matter!  What matters is Truth!  I am learning to constantly remind myself of who He is to me.  When it gets stressful, He is my peace.  When I am tired, He is my strength.  When I am mad, he is my joy.  When I am unsatisfied, he is my portion.  So, no matter what I am going through today, or any day, He is what I need and He is ALWAYS there, an ever present help, come poop or pee!